The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
