it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am naked and annoyed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
