i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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