i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
