I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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