i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
