First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
