This is not my ceiling
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
