Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
