I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
