Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So. Much. Porn.
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