he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize