Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
