it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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