Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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