i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
