im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize