wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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