HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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