ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
