I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
