Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
