so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
