it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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