It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
