I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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