when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
