help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize