I will die if light touches me.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Panties = found
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
