can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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