I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
