So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
