too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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