I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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