I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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