Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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