Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize