i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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