Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
handjob tips. give me some.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
