I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
