absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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