CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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