I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize