dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
