Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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