Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
