Don't you send me to vm
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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