I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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