She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
