So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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