That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
