We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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