At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
