In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
