I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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