i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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