A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize