omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
