i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
