sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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