these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
vagina is talking i cant
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
