I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize
