Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
