Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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