and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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