if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
