you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
