I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
