I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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