Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
