How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
