and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have tasted many bathrooms
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
