you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
