Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
