who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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