Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
