I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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