I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
