I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
