but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
