Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
