Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
